SHAKIN' UP SHAKESPEARE

So...I'm quizzing my freshman, Jarrod, before his big Shakespeare test. My boy would rather be on the ball field than in the class room, but he was doing a great job memorizing the FIVE PAGES of facts he had to know.

Fill in the blank question from Mom: Shakespeare purchased a Coat of __________________ for his father, that gave him the title of GENTLEMEN.

Jarrod's answer: fur

correct answer: Arms.

Mom: (hysterical laughter)

AMAZING

Sunday's sermon revolved around famous MLB pitcher Orel Hershiser. Our pastor shared with us that during the World Series with the Dodgers, back in the day, Hershiser pitched several amazing games with no relief pitcher. Television cameras caught him singing on the mound while pictching in the World Series. Soon after he appeared on Johnny Carson. Carson asked Hershiser on the air what he was singing and if he would sing it for the audience.

Our pastor posed this question to our congregation: ANY GUESSES WHAT HERSHISER WAS SINGING ON THE MOUND THAT ULTIMATELY LED THE LA DODGERS TO VICTORY? Eight year old Mary Jae leaned over and whispered to me, "AMAZING BASE".

Whitty, but not correct. The real answer is our doxology...PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW. PRAISE HIM ALL CREATURES HERE BELOW. PRAISE HIM ABOVE YE HEAVENLY HOST. PRAISE FATHER SON AND HOLY GHOST. A-MEN.

WHEN LAUREN IS PRESIDENT...

Isaac's mom, Deanna, was going through old homework papers and found "President's Day" by little sister Lauren: Presidents are important because...they take care of our country. If I were president, I would... get a cat.

COPY CAT

Not only is Isaac scared about his Mom trying to knock him off with her vitamin disbursement, he also is very scared that his third-grade teacher is giving him assignments that are against the law. His teacher wants him and his classmates to copy facts off the Internet. That is "PLAGIARISM"!

BLACK WIDOW MAMA

Nine-year-old Isaac seems to be certain that Mom is trying to "do him in". He hasn't said it in so many words, but he worries a lot about her parenting choices.
Case in point...Mom was emptying the trash and found Isaac's vitamins from the past few days. When she asked him why his vitamins were in the trash, this was his reply:
I'm worried, because I am suppose to take those vitamins every 24 hours and it has only been 23.

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY

5 year old Carter and Mom on the ride to school today...


Mom: You should pray for Dad to get the job today.
Carter: I don't know what to say.


Mom: Repeat after me.
Dear God
Carter: Dear God


Mom: Please help Dad
Carter: Please help Hobo


Mom: get the job
Carter: get the job


Mom: Amen
Carter: Amen


I thought you would appreciate his spin

Note: Dad is an amazing principal that has been honorably discharged due to lack of funding in the state of Illinois. At 10:30 today, he has a job interview. Please lift up prayers, positive thoughts, good carma.... Thanks!!!

22 YEARS OLD AND YET SO WISE....

Our 22-year-old niece just posted a picture of her 18 year old cousin (who just happens to be our girl Jerilyn) dancing with her dance team. The caption read: I don't tell you enough how proud I am of you!

How sweet is that?

PARENTING TIP

Never add the word "OKAY" on to the end of your sentence when you are speaking to your child.

Examples:

Pick up your room, OKAY?
Set the table now, OKAY?
Get off the phone, OKAY?
Brush your teeth, OKAY?
Be home by 10:00, OKAY?

How many times have you done this and your kid says, "No." Seriously...What are we thinking? Look how much better this works:

Pick up your room.
Set the table now.
Get off the phone.
Brush your teeth.
Be home by 10:00.

Then, if your two year old says, "NO" (That one is for you, Jen!) you can calmly reply, "It's not optional."

BIG BRAVE BOY

Two-year-old Max is afraid of the vaccuum, so when Mom was finished vaccuuming she put it in a different room away from Max. He found the vaccuum and began to karate chop it and push all the buttons.

Mom: Please don't karate chop the vaccuum, Max. You could hurt yourself or the vaccuum.

Max: I not scared of you, Momma.

Someone is in trouble. Not sure if it's "Momma" or Max.

SELF ESTEEM

Question from Dad: What is self esteem?
Response from Jae: The steam that comes up out of yourself?!

She must have seen Dad on some not so good days.

BONDING

Say a little prayer for my Brownie troop, everyone. We will be going on our very first camping trip tomorrow. The weather today is a gorgeous and sunny 66 degrees. The forecast for tomorrow is wet and rainy with a chance of SNOW...temperatures in the 40s.

My Brownie: "Who is riding to the camp grounds with us?"
Me: "Well, Denise and Madelyn might as well ride with us."
My Brownie: "It will be a good bonding experience."
Me: "Oh, you mean with you and Madelyn or Me and Denise?"
My Brownie: "No,Mom... me and you."

My little toes may be cold, but my heart is warmed!

HMMMMMMM

Every time Jae says something that makes me laugh she follows up with: "Pretty blog worth, huh, mom? YIKES!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE??!!

LOOSE TOOTH LINCOLN

The Tooth Fairy can be very unpredictable. Take, for example, her recent visit to our house. On most trips she leaves a $2.00 bill. On occassion she leaves a Saquajawia coin with a $1.00 bill-- We believe this happens only when she forgets to stop by the First National Fairy Bank for her $2.00 bill withdrawl. This morning we were stumped when Jae pulled a $5.00 bill out of her special tooth pillow where her wiggly jiggly loose tooth had been just hours before. Then, Jae made sense of it all: "Oh, I get it. Since we visited the Lincoln Museum and Library yesterday The Tooth Fairy gave me the money with Lincoln on it." Sounds right to me.....

PLAYIN' HOOKY

As a former teacher, I don't usually endorse skippin' school. But...my youngest daughter skipped school today and took off with me and Grandma to spend the day in our state capitol. We had a fabulously stress fee day just being with each other. I would highly recommend PLAYIN' HOOKY every once and a while with the ones you love. Even if you have to just PLAY HOOKY from your chores. You won't regret all the warm memories(and future scrapbook pages)made.

THE REASONS WHY

Our oldest is away at college, so I periodically send care packages. For St. Patrick's Day, I walked through Walgreens and found every thing I could that was green to put in his care package. From silly light-up-monster stress balls to toothbrushes, I found lots of crazy GREEN items.

My favorite "find" was a GREEN mini photo album (4 X 6). As soon as I saw it I knew what purpose it would fulfill...It was the perfect cover for a book--a book from our littlest author (Jae, 8) to our oldest author (Jerremy, 20).

I know that Jerremy will appreciate the book, because he aspires to be a fictional writer. So, may I present the book to you:

THE REASONS WHY


I need you more than....
a fish needs water
or a cookie needs milk
or a balloon needs helium
or a sock needs a shoe
or a book needs a page
or a bowling ball needs pins
or fries need ketchup]
or peanut butter needs jelly
or a robber needs $
or a boy needs soap (second runner up favorite)
or a rainbow needs colors
or ice cream needs sprinkles
or coco needs marshmallows
or a super hero needs strength
or a zebra needs stripes
or a writer needs a pencil
or we need oxygen
or a pencil needs an eraser
like pooh needs honey
like lady liberty needs a torch (first runner up favorite)
or a ball needs a bounce
like popcorn needs butter
a sister needs a brother (FAVORITE!)

A MOMMY MOMENT

Did you ever have one of those MOMMY MOMENTS when you look around and just feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like you are really a spectacular parent that is nurturing your child's growth in an amazingly awesome way? I was right in the middle of a moment like that when my darling daughter Jae (8 years old) let me know in no uncertain terms that really was not the case.

So...it's Saturday night. Jae is working on a craft. I am folding a load of towels. The fire place is toasty and warm. We are watching TV--the classic LITTLE WOMEN. I'm feeling cocky because I'm bringing a little culture to her life. Until...

My "little woman" sweetly looks at me and says, "When I'm a mom I am not going to make my kids sit through this torture!"

Sweet!

MOM TIME

This weekend Denise will join hundreds of women attending the HEARTS AT HOME conference. This will require her to pack a bag, stay in a hotel, eat at yummy restaraunts, and the only person she is responsible for is herself. I think all the Mommas of the world will agree that she should have a fabulous time.

This morning my wonderful friend and her children are in the car on the way to school when
7-year-old Madelyn asks, "Where are you going this weekend, Mom? Is it a meeting?" Mom says, "No, it's a thing to help make me be a better mommy."

So...a few minutes later she notices 5-year-old Carter doesn't have his jacket. When she begins to question if he brought it, he responds, "You should have got it". Naturally, this is the point in the conversation where she started the "lecture" about responsibility, respect,(we mommas--and our kids--know the drill).

Madelyn says, "I guess we see why you need to go this weekend, Mom,"

Thanks, Madelyn...

P.S. Mom went back home to retrieve Carter's jacket.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW THEM....

Teenagers...kids...our kids...never cease to amaze me. Eighteen is such a precarious age. One minute you are an independent woman ready to conquer the world. The next minute you are slamming your door, because your parents are totally clueless and get on your last nerve. Blink, and you are way advanced beyond your years with a deep appreciation for your parents.

I love that I just saw on our senior daughter's FB page Jerilyn became a fan of I LOVE MY DAD FOR EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE.

It's the little things in life that bring me joy.

TAP WATER

Jae, my eight-year-old daughter, suggested I put this on the blog.

Today she was in dance class. Between dance and ballet she attempted to pull her water bottle out of her dance bag. Unfortunately, she pulled out a tap shoe instead. Ever the kidder, she leaned over to her friend and said, "Look, Emma...TAP water." BA-RUM-PA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY

Today is my husband's birthday--Happy Birthday, Michael!

Both our girls left birthday love notes around the house for Dad with special window markers.

Jerilyn's message (18 years old): HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLD MAN on the back window of his truck.

Jae's message (8 years old): Dad, thank you for being a magneficent Dad. P.S. I love u 899,221,59 million your favorite daughter Jae. on the bathroom mirror.

On his birthday card:
The "fight" continued on about who was the favorite daughter.

Jerilyn signed: Love, your favorite daughter.
Jae signed: Love, your really, really, really, real favorite daugther.

Dad said it was the best birthday ever, because he had never been fought over. He kinda liked it.

Meanwhile, 14-year-old brother, Jarrod, was growing impatient to eat icecream cake, so he went ahead and cut the cake BEFORE pictures---can you believe it?

It was a wild and crazy night, but Dad loved every minute of it.

THANKS, GOD!

My wonderful friend Deanna recently lost her mom (WHAT WILL BE YOUR LEGACY?)
She is taking it one day at a time, but misses her dearly. This was her post today:
God sent me encouragement in the form of my 3 year old today. I miss my mom every day, but this morning, I was really wishing I could call her and chat with her. While I was folding laundry, Julia was "writing notes" on post-it notes which she then stuck all over the place. She said "Mommy, these notes are to remind... you that I love you and that Grandma Johnson loves you, too". Thanks, God, I needed that!

LESSON LEARNED

14 year old boy's FB post: didn't make the (freshman) baseball teamSeveral posts later:im gonna work extra hard so i can make (the coaches) second guess.My son is blessed to have a best friend with such an amazing attitude.
...And just for the record, I am the one that learned a lesson. Thanks, Cam!

YOUNG AUTHORS

Spent a wonderful night celebrating over four hundred YOUNG AUTHORS in our school district. I am very proud of each and every author who took the initative to write their thoughts down on paper and "publish" a book. That takes guts.

Jae, our eight-year-old, diligently worked on her book entitled MY BOOK OF NOT SO TRUE FAIRY TALES. Her book had four chapters with 22 pages. Obviously I think she is a talented writer. Her words really flow on the page. All her TALES were wonderful, but here is an excerpt from my favorite page:

I dedicate this book to my funny and sensitive brother Jerremy for being there when I need him. Big brother is away at college studying journalism.

He is our oldest---months away from 21(Yikes!)--and she is our youngest. Although they are 12 years apart, they are always close in their hearts. I LOVE THAT!

BABY BOY GENIUS

My walking partner (Jen) and I walk in a gym since it's so cold outside. It has been a challenge to keep barely 2-year-old Max entertained while we walk. We came up with an ingenious plan. Today Max had his own little picnic set up--including a movie on the lap top. He did a wonderful job, but when he wanted Mom's attention he did a genius move.

Max has tried to keep up with us walking, and it's just too much for him. So....as we are walking along the perimeter of the gym, he went in the opposite direction to cut us off. He knew he would never be able to catch up. You may think it's just a coincidence, but he did it several times. THAT BOY IS A BABY GENIUS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DR. SEUSS

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss. Thank you for every wonderful, amazing book!

SUPER HERO

Today my eight year old told me I was her super hero. In the middle of my hectic day, that brought a smile to my face.

Has a little one ever made you smile out of the blue? I'm guessing if you have EVER been around children the answer is yes.

AIDEN FLASHBACK

Aiden has been in touch with his emotions since he was a little guy. Aiden's mom and I were power walking today, and she reminded me of this story. Thought I would share, because let's face it...we all love Aiden stories.

Aiden's big sister Kate is older by 20 months. When Aiden was about 2 1/2 Mom walked in on Kate and Aiden. He was sobbing, sobbing, sobbing. She scooped him up in her arms and asked, "What's hurt, Aiden?" He responded through the sobs, "My feelings!"