No “Straws” Attached

Baby Lili’s mommy breast feeds her.  Lili’s auntie, who is in elementary school, was curious about this whole process. She just couldn’t figure out how how Lili actually got milk from her Mommy, until…..one day Auntie was chatting with Mommy when it was time for Lili to eat.  Being upclose and personal,  Auntie actually got to see how baby Lili latched on.  It was at that moment all Auntie’s confusion became crystal clear:  “Oh, there’s straws that pop out!”  Auntie exclaimed.

Got Mommy's Milk

Dad and his toddler son walked up to
the counter at a fast food restaurant and ordered lunch.
They sat down at the table.  Dad handed his son a
drink.

Son:  "I don't want that. I want milk."
Dad:  "I'll have to go buy a milk then."
Son:  (Screaming)  "No!  I WANT MOMMY'S MILK!"

Pretty sure Mommy's Milk is not a fountain drink.

Drug Awareness

"MOM!!! There's marajuana in Trevor's room!!!"  Turns out little brother Jeremy had actually spotted.................wait for it................. broccoli. 

Bowl Me Over

Seventh grade student Ben is adjusting to his new middle school quite nicely.  He loves his new school baseball team. Yesterday he told his mom that he went to a meeting to join a new club...SCHOLAR BOWL.

Mom:  Do you know what that is?
Ben:  What?
Mom:  It's like a ball team made up of really smart kids.  They do school work to figure out problems.   Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins.
Ben:  Oh my gosh!  I'm so glad I didn't sign anything.  I thought it was a bowling team! 

Wash and Wear Hair

This is too funny not to share!! 
Luke (calls downstairs from the bath tub):  I need shampoo.   
Mom:  I just bought some.  It's in the blue bottle
Mom: (Heads upstairs to the bathroom) 
Luke:  This says FOR DRY HAIR,  Mom!! My hair is wet.

Good point, Luke!

Bilingual Boy

 A 5 year old little guy was playing Wii one day while Grandma was watching him. He finally reached a level on his game after many days of trying.
He started jumping up and down and said, "Grandma! Did you see that?! That was Outstanding!" Then, very seriously explained, "That means awesome in Chinese."