Not Feelin' It

Richard attends a Christan-based preschool, where he is introduced to different mealtime prayers.   One day, while sitting down to supper with his extended family, Mom proudly asked him to say a prayer.  Richard's response, " I'm not feelin' the Lord today, Mom."

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night!

Little Stinker

Nine-year-old Kate shopped at Santa's Cottage for her little brothers. 
When she told two-year-old Max she bought a Christmas present for him he couldn't wait--literally.  He kept getting into her bag trying to find it.  Finally, she decided to hide the presents on her top bunk.  A little while later, Mom walked by Kate's room and saw Max up on Kate's top bunk. 

Shaking her head she said, "Max, you know what you are?"
Max replied, "Yes...amazing!"

Mom was thinking "little stinker".

Christmas Cookies with a Twist

This year while carrying on the Christmas cookie baking tradition Fifteen-year-old Jarrod decided to kick it up a notch.  When Dad passed by on his way to the oven he suggested that Jarrod not pound the sugar cookie dough.  Here is Jarrod's reply:

"If you want it to bake properly you have to massage it.  You just don't know my technique."

Illlegal Drugs

On a recent trip to the pediatrician 9-year-old Jae was diagnosed with Strep Throat.  Days later she broke out in hives all over her body, which required yet another trip to the pediatrician's office.  The doctor felt she had an allergic reaction to the medication he prescribed for strep.  He decided to put her on a steroid to help clear up the hives plus clear up her never-ending cough. 

Jae (to Mom in a whisper voice):  But steroids are illegal.
Mom:  Not if your doctor prescribes them to you for hives.
Jae:  Better tell that to the ball players!

Job Change

An elementary age girl received some mail from the bank.  It was the monthly statement for her savings account.

Mom: You've got mail from the bank.
Girl:  What is it?
Mom:  It's a statement.  It tells how much money you have in your savings account.  Here...open it.
Girl:  Why do they think you're a custodian?  You're a teacher.
Mom:  WHAT?
Girl:  It says my name right here on the envelope.  Next to your name it says "custodian". 
Mom: (LAUGH!!!) That just means I am the adult in charge that helps with your account.
Girl:  They thought you were a janitor.

Like Butt!

Nine year old Mary Jae is queen of STREP THROAT.  She gets it two to three times each year.  I guess it's time again.  The poor thing is pale, pale, pale...sore throat...upset tummy...headache.  Had to help her get dressed, because her head was hurting so bad.

Me:  How are you feeling?
Her:  Like butt!!!

I guess that sums it up.

Disturbing? You be the judge...

Ten-year-old Isaac is biting body parts off of gummy bears and putting them together to create new, multi-colored gummy bears. For some reason, this is disturbing to his mama.  One family friend thought maybe he was dressing them like the Partridge Family.