Dorks Unite!!!

I must admit our eleven year old daughter rocks!  Too bad her parents are DORKS! 

MJK's teacher calls earlier in the week to let us know MJK is receiving the Rotary Student of the Quarter award at the school-wide morning meeting on Friday.  This is a surprise to MJK.  So...her dad and I concoct a plan...

Today is THE day.  Dad drops her off in the circle at school and secretly parks by the dumpster.  I follow in my car at a safe distance and meet Dad at the appointed rendezvous spot.   We exit our vehicles and stroll into the gymnasium with smug smiles on our faces like proud Secret Service agents.  This would be the point when her teacher looks at us and says, "They already presented MJK with the award!" 

Thanks goodness the teacher and principal took pity on us and graciously re-enacted the presentation of MJK's special award.  While I am sure MJK was a bit mortified by the whole situation, I had to get the photo for the scrapbook.  Am I right?

Better Than HD TV...

 In an effort to help her students understand the abstract idea of time, one second grade teacher related time to television.  She explained to her boys and girls that 30 minutes is the amount of time their favorite TV shows last.  Jax quickly raised his hand and told the teacher his programs lasted 40 minutes because... he has a big screen TV.  Who knew?  The bigger the screen, the longer the show. 

The Hunger Game

Today was movie day at school.  The kids got to wear their PJs and bring a snack
for the movie.  Being the good parent she is, Mom called her kids on the
way home last night, asked what they wanted to bring for a snack, stopped at the store, bought it and
packed it all up for Aiden and his sister this morning.  As Aiden was getting out of the van...

Mom: "Aiden, don't forgot your snack for the moive."

 Aiden:  "WHAT??!!!! That was for the movie??? I thought it was my snack
              for the way to school AND I ATE IT!!!! 

This was, of course, after he already had breakfast.  Mom may want to check into extreme couponing to be ready for the teenage years! 
 

It's a Riddle

Q:  How are a seashell and a drumstick the same?

  In music class this week one young student solved the riddle:

A:  "Wow! I can hear the ocean!"

Tiny Tornado Talk

Here in the Midwest tornado season seems to be in full effect.  Recently, a tornado wreaked havoc in Branson, Mo and surrounding areas.  Earlier this week a pre-k teacher was presenting a very timely science lesson on TORNADOES. She read CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS by Judi Barrett to introduce the lesson and followed up with a YOUTUBE video of an actual  tornado.  To reinforce the lesson children were invited to make swirly, twisty tornadoes using cooked spaghetti noodles.

I now invite you to be a "fly on the wall" and  listen to the comments made by the pre-schoolers during the TORNADO lesson.

"  LOOK AT THAT VOLCANO!!!!"  .

"Wow!  It gets busy inside a tornado!"

"Hey, if you are in front of a tomato you can get hurt!"

"I have one of those at my house."

"Are these Spaghetti-O's?"

"I can hear (the tornado) vibrating"

...and the ever popular pre-k comment no matter what the topic:  "My dog is in heaven."
 

FREEZE!

While in a pre-k classroom yesterday the teacher played one of my favorite classroom songs for her kiddos to dance to:  FREEZE DANCE.  Basically the kids dance to the music until they hear the word "FREEZE".  Then, everyone stops in mid motion. 

After the song ended one very excited boy looked at his teacher and said, "I frozen you!!" Interpretation:  "I was FREEZE dancing with you and I don't want it to end!"

Just have to love  pre-k vocabulary.  How expressive!!! 

He's Gone!

The big news around the Metro East area today was Albert Pujols signing with the Angels and leaving St. Louis.  LOTS of people had their eyes on Twitter and ESPN waiting for an announcement.  Here's what happened when a second grade teacher from my hometown announced it to her class.

Teacher:  Boys and Girls, I just found out that Albert Pujols is now an Angel.

Student:  Oh my gosh!  Albert Pujols is dead?!!!!!

Bowl Me Over

Seventh grade student Ben is adjusting to his new middle school quite nicely.  He loves his new school baseball team. Yesterday he told his mom that he went to a meeting to join a new club...SCHOLAR BOWL.

Mom:  Do you know what that is?
Ben:  What?
Mom:  It's like a ball team made up of really smart kids.  They do school work to figure out problems.   Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins.
Ben:  Oh my gosh!  I'm so glad I didn't sign anything.  I thought it was a bowling team! 

Dance Clinic for HOPE

Recently my home town high school dance team sponsored a dance clinic to benefit breast cancer. Football stadium covered in pink--Dancers, cheerleaders, football players and fans---$3,000 raised. Warms my heart.




Mini Pom Pom Girls - RiverBender.com Video streaming live and on demand events#.TnIckwe63kM.facebook

Marbles

Mrs.Norris and her kindergarten class were looking at a book of pictures starting with "m". One of the pictures was children playing marbles.

Mrs. N:  "You probably don't know this game. I played this a long time ago when I was a little girl. It's a game called marbles.  (She then explained the game to her class.)

Student: "Do you still play?"

Mrs. Norris:  "No.  Not anymore."

Student:  "Why did you lose all your marbles?"

 Little does she know that's how A LOT of teachers feel after the first week of school. 

Need Some Advice

A fourth grade classroom had to write a letter to "Aunt Blabby" about a
problem they were having. Here is a favorite:

Dear Aunt Blabby,
I have a big problem. I woke up, but I forgot to
put my clothes all the way on so I went to school and all I had on was my
socks and my undershirt and my panties. The kid were laughin at me. I
said WHAT? They just panties. At least they was good panties. They was
Hello Kitty, but then I looked down and they was Dora the Explorer! What
am I supposed to do?
Your Friend,
T


It cracks me up that she's not so much concerned that she forgot to put on her clothes, but she's caught with Dora the Explorer underwear in fourth grade.  We all have our standards!

Punctuation Misinterpretation

A classroom aide was working with a small group of elementary children and she
asked, "What do you put at the end of a sentence?"
These were the replies she got:
Period.
Exclamation point.
Condom
The aide said, "Do you mean a comma?"
His response:  "Oh ya,  a comma."

I guess you're never too young for "safe punctuation."

Science?

Mrs. G. to her fourth grade class: "OK, so what do you know about protons?"
Student: "I don't know protons, but I know croutons."

Let's Make a Deal

Today, fourth grade teacher Mrs. G. said, "I'm going to buy sodas for the students who pass their AR  (Accelerated Reader) goal this quarter." One boy said, "Throw in a chocolate bar, and you've got a deal." Love it!

Chinchilla Diorama

During Thanksgiving holiday most of us spent time shopping, but not my third grade daughter Mary Jae.

She stayed home and diligently worked on her Chinchilla Diorama for school. I think she did an amazing job relating the Chilean habitat of a chinchilla, right down to the Chilean miner escaping the mine.  Brilliant!

Diorama

My third-grade daughter has a project for Thanksgiving break.  She is to create a diorama (a project usually in a shoebox that creates a realistic background and characteristics of an animal.)  Upon hearing this assignment, she was immediately pumped full of creative ideas. 

While technically Thanksgiving Break is about a week away, she began Googling facts about CHINCHILLAS and sweeping the house for useful diorama props seconds after arriving home. She tracked me down wherever I was in the house to ask my thoughts on her latest creative use of a household product for her diorama. 

While I am use to her usual creative genius, I must admit she caught me off-guard with this question.
 
Mary Jae:  "Do we have a tube?"
Me:  "What?"
Mary Jae:  "Do we have anything we can use as a tube?""
Me:  "For what?"
Mary Jae:  "I need a tube for my diorama."
Me:  "What 's the tube for?"
Mary Jae:  "It represents the Chilean miners."  "Chinchillas are found in Chile, you know."

Five minutes later she came downstairs with a slinky and rubber-bendable-smiley face guy.   Stay tuned for pictures.  I can't wait to see it myself.    

Oh, Pie!

This week I had the opportunity to sub with my wonderful Pre-K kids.  During the afternoon class, an all-school assembly was held in the gym.  Apparently, the local police department sponsored a coin drive for Special Olympics.  Every student from the classroom that donated the most money won the right to through a pie at a policeman during this special assembly. 

Being a tiny Pre-K class in a Kindergarten through third grade school, we had front row seating---right on the gym floor.  I explained to the boys and girls what would be happening.  It was a little confusing for my little guys, because the policemen were wearing t-shirts and jeans---no uniforms.  

The roar of the crowd grew as each student from the winning first-grade classroom stepped up to the line to throw a pie at a policemen . All the children began chanting THROW THE PIE!!!!...THROW THE PIE!!!!  As each pie hit its mark "Brayden's" eyes grew larger and larger.  With his big deer-in-the-headlight-eyes "Brayden" looked at me and said, " Are they going to throw pies at us?"

Lady in Red

We moms are highly familiar with the morning drill. It goes a little something like this: Grab your jacket. Get your book bag. Do you have your book? Is your homework in your folder? Where's you lunch box? Smooch, Smooch...see you after school. Love you.

My friend pulled up to her kids' school this morning and started the "morning drill."

Mom: Aiden, Where's your folder?
Aiden: I don't know.
Mom: Look for it.
Aiden: I don't see it.
Mom: It has to be somewhere in this van.
Aiden: All I see is a beautiful lady in red.

What a sweet talker. He's going to make a wonderful husband some day.

Wife: Where's the mail?
Aiden: I don't know.
Wife: Could you look for it?
Aiden: I don't see it.
Wife: I brought it inside. It has to be somewhere in this house.
Aiden: Honey, all I see is a beautiful lady in red.

Broken

So.....I sent my fifteen-year-old son to school Monday morning in one piece. He came home broken. While getting into his locker after school he was pushed from behind and broke his wrist. He says it was just a kid that got a little too rowdy. "It's not a big deal, Mom." My boy has a sweet, gentle spirit and would never want anyone to get in trouble...very forgiving.
His nineteen-year-old mother hen of a big sister---not so much! When she found out about her little brother's broken wrist she called Dad from college and had this to say, "I want to know who did it and I want to know NOW. I will take care of it!" While I'm fearful that she's ordering a hit even as we speak, in a crazy, dysfunctional way it warms my heart that she has her brother's back.
Her "broken" brother, on the other hand, is more concerned about calling the doctor to get permission to play badminton in PE than planning retribution.
Different kids. Different out-looks on life. Same amount of never-ending love.

Don't Say Cheese...Say Checklist

Kindergarten student Carter is very excited for his first picture day at school. Last night he made a checklist to get ready. Mom wrote down exactly what he told her. Today he jumped out of bed, grabbed the list and started marking them off (in order of course.) He decided to save his list in his bedroom in case he ever has another picture day and to remember this ..."the best day of my life".