Bullying?

Jeremy:   Mom! My friends were kicking balls at me during recess. TWO hit me in the head.
Mom:      WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY WERE KICKING BALLS AT YOU??
Jeremy:   Yeah. They kicked balls at me almost the whole time. It really hurt.
Mom:      WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON WITH THIS??
Big Sis:    Jeremy, you were the goalie.

Super Sized?

Mom was in the bathroom and discovered there was no toilet paper.  She yelled out for her young daughter to bring her a roll of toilet paper out of the closet.  A few minutes passed when Mom heard a knock at the door.  There stood her daughter with a roll of paper towels and a roll of toilet paper posing a very important question:  "Do you need the small roll or the big roll?"